Chapter 81 - I should've said this last week.

Thank you for this one year, thank you for all the memories, thank you for all the stories that we've shared a lot, thank you for all the hopes and imaginations, thank you for all the good and the sad times that we've passed a lot, thank you for making me a better men, thank you for always being my motivation, thank you for always being in my heart, thank you for every seconds that we've spent together, both online and when we're meeting.

I'm sorry i've done a lot of things that makes you uncomfortable, i'm sorry i can't be more than you want, i'm sorry i couldn't pass your criteria, i'm sorry for thinking i was good enough to be your future.

I'm sorry if i'm just wasting your time over this 13 months.

I believe you can find a more better man than me, i know i'm just a piece of garbage haha

Let's just pretend everything i've said, everything we did, just never happened.

You can burn the stuffs i've sent to you, it's all yours. Don't send it back, pamali.

You can delete this chat too. There is no meaning here for you anymore.

But you means a lot for me. Maybe you just didn't realize it. Oh well.

Enjoy your vacation btw, "hunn"!

Take my one last breath, and don't forget that I'll be right here waiting (again) for you.

I love you so much, forever, my sweet princess.

Time to listen to emo songs.

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Chapter 80 - LDR does sucks.

Banyak pikiran yang sekarang berkecamuk di kepala urang yang membuat dada ini terasa sesak dari 2 hari kebelakang sampe detik ini (dan puncaknya kemaren malem). Pengen nangis, pengen teriak, pengen meluk, banyak banget.

Mungkin ini semua berawal dari sebuah statement dimana pacar urang bilang “dia ngga kuat lagi LDR”. Ya jujur urang juga ngga kuat. Udah hampir setaun kami ngga ketemuan, dan urang juga udah merencanakan bakal ngetok rumah dia sekitar bulan Juli/Agustus (setelah rencana-rencana sebelumnya ngga ada yang sukses berjalan).

Ya jujur-jujuran aja urang juga ngga kuat, urang pengen ketemu sama dia, bener-bener ngabisin waktu bareng berdua. Tapi ya gimana, urang mau ngga mau harus menjadi seorang masokis yang Cuma bisa nahan segala gempuran rindu karena jarak yang memisahkan kami berdua. Jujur aja, sakit. Banget. Tapi ya urang tahan aja, urang sayang dia, urang ngga mau ninggalin dia, urang masih sayang sama dia.

Jadi ya gitu. LDR does sucks, tinggal gimana kita menghadapinya aja. Semua rasa sabar yang sudah ditahan pasti akan indah kedepannya. Tinggal gimana kita menghadapinya.

PS: I do want to hug her real tight pas urang udah ketemu dia. Ngga kuat.

PSS: Ajarin caranya buat nangis dong, ngga kuat, pengen nangis ketahan mulu, ngga kuat sumpah.

Aku masih nyesel ke Bangkok akhir Januari kemaren, I should’ve gone to Jambi.

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